Things have differing kinds of value. My favorite kind of value? The imaginary value of all those things that might happen once you have a thing. The technical term for this is option value; e.g. the sum of all the value you might place upon options to do things the object creates.

So I was pleased to see that the post office has a fee they charge you for stealing their options. Generally the post office charges you by weight, but if you ship a large very light object then they charge you a special fee. The Balloon Fee.

The hulla-hoop community is outraged!